


Shut Up, Cowboy

by moststeph



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:56:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moststeph/pseuds/moststeph
Summary: Self indulgent threesome fic, because these three are hotties.





	Shut Up, Cowboy

They've just gotten in from the bar - they're all giggly and happy, a pleasant and comforting level of drunk. Well 'giggly' could never really describe Illya, Gaby thinks, looking up at the towering Russian. But when he drinks his eyes crinkle when he smiles and he chuckles, deep and true, more often than usual. Napoleon, of course, is even more ridiculous than usual, declaring passionate love for half the bar and flirting outrageously with the other half. But they know he'll always come home with them. It's the three of them together that's gotten them this far. 

Napoleon flings himself on the bed, looking far sexier than anyone who is flinging themselves anywhere should be. He eyes Gaby as she starts to take off her shoes and pats the comforter invitingly. 

"Gaby, wouldn't you much rather take off your shoes, and everything else, over here?" he asks invitingly. Gaby rolls her eyes.

"The king of subtlety, as always," she returns, stripping her shirt off. She doesn't turn to Illya but she can feel his eyes on her. Suddenly he's behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing kisses onto her neck. 

"Oh, you too?" Gaby asks, though it comes out less nonchalant than she'd like. Illya hums against her neck.

"Cowboy cannot be subtle, but I can," he murmurs and brushes his hand across her crotch. Gaby breathes in sharply and pushes against his touch involuntarily. 

"Hey!" Napoleon shouts from the bed. "I'm lying here, looking rakish and delicious, and no one is paying attention." Gaby can practically hear his pout. He does look rather rakish, his hair rumpled and his shirt half unbuttoned, the dark hair on his chest beautiful against the blue of his shirt. His eyes are always lovely, darker now as he watches Gaby and Illya. It sends a thrill down Gaby to see him look her and Illya up and down. 

"Maybe if you'd shut up for half a second, we'd pay attention to you," Gaby tells Solo. Illya has turned with her toward the bed and continued kissing down her neck, onto her shoulders and back. "Your silence would shock us into attentiveness." 

Illya chuckles and it rumbles through Gaby. "He could not shut up," he says, teasing, looking up at Solo. He rests his head on top of Gaby's. "World would come to end." 

"You would miss my charming anecdotes," Solo predicts, shrugging out of his shirt. Illya's eyes follow the motion and trail down the smooth planes of Napoleon's torso, the beautiful angles. "You would cry 'What has happened to our dearest Solo??' and weep," Napoleon continues, lying back on the bed. "I don't think you two could even shut me up if you tried," he says provokingly. 

Gaby's never one to back down from a challenge. She tips her head back to look at Illya with a glint in her eye and finds it mirrored in his. Illya looks at Napoleon and grins - it's feral and seductive all at once, and Gaby can hear Napoleon's breath catch. Gaby saunters over to the bed, shedding her pants along the way. She pulls Napoleon up and off the bed, so he's standing against her near naked body, and stares up at him. 

"You wouldn't want me to be quiet now anyway," Solo says, running his hands down her sides. “You'd want me telling you just how fucking sexy you look, and--” Gaby leans forward as if to kiss him but hovers right at his lips, tempting, teasing. She feels Illya come up behind her, solid. She hears him unzip his jeans. 

"Napoleon," Gaby says, sweetly. "Shut up." And she shoves him to his knees. 

Illya is there, ready, and cuts off Solo's exclamation of surprise with his cock. It's a beautiful cock, Gaby thinks as she lies down on the bed to watch. Long and thick and smooth, Illya's sliding in and out of Napoleon's mouth, who's gagging but pushing further against Illya, straining to take all of him in. It's a beautiful sight, Illya's fingers in Napoleon's hair, shoving into his mouth. Napoleon gets into a rhythm and gazes up at Illya through his thick lashes. Illya swears in Russian, pushing even faster into Solo's mouth. Gaby smiles like a contented cat.

Gaby watches them, enjoying the view. Napoleon is moaning onto Illya's cock now, and she can tell Illya's close. He's fucking Solo's mouth in quick, short bursts, gasping. He looks up at her, almost for permission. She smiles and nods, and Illya closes his eyes and gives two more quick thrusts then he's coming, hard, and Napoleon is taking it all, eager for it. Finally Illya slows and pulls out of Solo's mouth, who wipes his chin and winks up at Illya. Illya pulls him to his feet and kisses him, deep and almost desperate.

"Well I don't mind shutting up for that," Napoleon quips, and Illya slaps him lightly across the face. Solo practically growls as Illya says, low and hungry, "We did not say you could speak."

Gaby grins at that, and makes room as Illya maneuvers Solo back on the bed. Illya turns and kisses her, sliding his tongue just between her lips, making her breath hitch. Illya smiles as he pulls away, divesting Solo of his pants and boxers. Illya kisses him again as he does, this time sweet, promising. His hand ghosts over Solo's hard cock and Napoleon mutters a desperate “fuck,” and bucks at the touch.

Gaby pulls off her underwear, then has another Idea. She climbs on top of Solo, straddling him and grips his chin, opening his mouth. Slowly, deliberately, she stuffs her panties into Napoleon's mouth. His eyes are shining and she can hear his low moan. Illya’s breathing hard behind her. 

"Like he said," she says as she lines up with Napoleon's cock. "No talking." And she slides him inside her.  
Napoleon lets out a gasp, muffled by the cloth in his mouth, and closes his eyes. Gaby gasps along with him - no matter how many times they're all together, she never gets tired of that first moment of him or Illya inside her. She starts to move as Illya finishes undressing and lies down beside Napoleon, a hand in Solo's hair as he watches Gaby with near reverence. Solo opens his eyes too, and Gaby loves it, loves to be watched by them. Solo's hands are on her hips and she rocks on his cock, a moan escaping her. Illya reaches over and ghosts over her clit, making her gasp. Solo's eyes sparkle mischievously and he tips his legs up, forcing Gaby to stop herself from falling with her hands against his broad chest. The angle lets him thrust deep inside her and Gaby screws her eyes shut, feeling every inch of him. Illya reaches back between them and starts to properly work on her clit - Gaby keens and moans his name, then Solo's, both of them all around her, inside her, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. Solo's breathing faster and faster, trying to moan her name around her panties, dripping wet in his mouth. Illya switches hands so he can tease her clit and grab her by the nape of her neck at the same time, turning her to face him and kissing her, drinking her in like he's dying of thirst. Gaby gasps against his lips, "Illya, Illya, I'm going to - I'm going to, fuck” and then she's coming, collapsing against Napoleon and seeing stars. He grabs her arms and pins them behind her, thrusts up into her, fast and furious, and then he's coming too, groaning so loud even the makeshift gag can't contain it. He releases her arms and the three of them lie there, spent and happy. Gaby finally rolls off and pulls her soaked underwear from Solo's mouth, who's staring at the ceiling, still panting. 

"That was - I - phew, I - wow," Napoleon mutters quietly to himself. He finally gives up on constructing a sentence and just throws an arm around Gaby and the other across Illya's chest. 

Gaby grins.

"Well, Illya. I think we finally learned how to shut Napoleon up."


End file.
